I Know Better

For the last 7 weeks, I have been faithful about my weight loss program.  I was tracking what I was eating.  I looked forward to my workouts.  I was finally getting sleep thanks to my C-PAP machine.  I really felt like a million bucks. 

And then tragedy struck.

I was only in Detroit for five days, but I feel like I have set myself back about 3 months.  I didn’t exercise.  I was careful about my food choices, but I didn’t have the opportunity to always make the healthier choices that I do at home.  I was sleeping on a bed that I wasn’t used to, which ended up hurting my back.  Normally, this wouldn’t have been a problem but I haven’t yet mastered the art of using my C-PAP machine while lying on my stomach.   We only had time for about 4 hours of sleep anyway, so I opted for sleep without my C-PAP machine. 

I can’t regret any of the choices that I had to make.  But I can ask a question.  How in the world was I able to live that way before the challenge?? It was miserable!!

Prior to January 22nd when this challenge began, my life was exactly what I had described above.  I was always on the go, not eating right, not exercising and not sleeping.  My stress level was off the charts!!  I was using caffeine in place of good nutrition and sleep.  How was I able to maintain that lifestyle for 5+ years??   

I am reminded of the quote by Maya Angelou, “I did what I knew how to do.  Now that I know better, I do better”.   The lifestyle that I had before was what I knew would work to survive.  I was surviving, not living.  I don’t want to ever go back to that lifestyle.   I know better now, and I will do better. 

The funeral also reminded me of how unpredictable and fragile life is.  I’m certain that my father in law never knew the value of his life for those that loved him.  He didn’t always make the right decisions, but he did what he knew how to.   I watched his friends and family hug and cry.  I listened to their stories and laughed with them at the antics of the man that I didn’t really get to know.  I learned that he did the best he could with what he knew.  It reinforced in me that I want to do better.  I want to be better than what I already know. 

This week, I will be spending a little more time at the gym to make up for last week.  I will get back to where I was before going to Detroit.  However, I will never go back to where I was before this challenge.  I certainly know better than that now!!

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