Rest In Peace Baby Girl

Dear Sweet Baby Girl,

I said good-bye to you tonight. 

It was a pain that I can’t put into words.  You were my girl.  My baby girl.  My Princess.  I told you that I loved you and thanked you for being an incredible dog and the best friend I could ever ask for.  I told you that I will never forget you and I meant every word of it.  I will never ever forget the love that you gave me.  You taught me the true meaning of unconditional love.  I never knew anyone would love me like you did. 

I won’t allow myself to wallow in your cancer.  You would be so disappointed in me if I did.  I want to honor your life by remembering the joy that you brought into mine.

We had some good times, didn’t we??  All the car rides where we would just talk about nothing.  You loved to “count cars”…any two lane road we were on, you would bark at any car that passed us.  It wasn’t your normal bark it was more of a squeaky bark.  It was hysterical!!! I loved it.  Your dad didn’t care for it, although he too would laugh.

I loved the high fives you would give.  I could say “GO STATE” and hold my hands up!!  You would give me a very excited “high ten”!  I love it!!

I can remember coming home from a date (before I met your dad of course) and crying to you about how I hated being 27 and not married.  I was literally crying wondering what in the world was wrong with me.  You licked the tears right off my face.  It’s like you were saying “nothing is wrong with you, pull it together!  You are perfect!!!”  You always made me feel like I was the greatest thing in the world.  I only hope I did that for you as well.  You were the greatest dog. 

I miss you.  You have been gone for a little over an hour now and I miss you.  My heart is broke, but I refuse to give into crying over your death.  You gave me too much of your life to smile about.  

I wish I had taken you for more walks.  I wish I had made you more of a priority at times.  I made mistakes, and I am sorry.  I hope that you know without a doubt how much I love you and how important you have always been to me.  I had to be with you in the last moments of your life.  I needed you to know that I was dedicated  to you until the very end.

So, Princess, I know that you are in Heaven now.  I know that you are going to be watching me.  I know you will watch over your dad, Kash and Layla.  I know that you are running and playing and having more fun.  I hope that you have cars to count in Heaven! 

Know that you are in my heart forever.  I can’t thank you enough for all the love, attention, and friendship you gave me.  You were the angel that came into my life when I needed it most, and I know you will continue to be my angel. 

I love you forever and always,

Mom.

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