Remove

I miss Joie. Got an email today from 1800Petmeds for “new items Joie might like”. I started to go to the website to remove myself from the list. At the bottom of the page it gave me the choice to “remove deceased pet”. It made my heart hurt to think about “removing” Joie. Removing? Why does that bother me so much? Probably because I still haven’t “removed” her bowls, her leash, or her toys.  Can’t 1800PetMeds come up with a different phrase that “remove deceased pet?”  Maybe it’s just me.  

I asked Tony the other day if it would be weird to use her bowls as my own. He said yes. I disagree. I washed them, so it’s no different than using a dish that I let her eat off of!!   I know it’s weird…and I am not doing it…but I am just aching for something that still makes me feel attached to her physically.

I miss her so much.  I can’t believe she is really gone still.  I can’t believe that I will never do high tens with her again.  I can’t believe I will never see her sweet face again.  I can’t believe I won’t feel the softness of her fur again.  I keep waiting for the day that I don’t feel like I have been punched in the stomach every time I start thinking about her. 

As upsetting as it is to get emails from 1800Petmeds about Joie, it’s more upsetting to think about “removing” her.

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